


A Turbulence of Forms

by fiddleyoumust



Category: Bandom, Panic At The Disco
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-27
Updated: 2010-12-27
Packaged: 2017-10-14 04:10:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/145226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiddleyoumust/pseuds/fiddleyoumust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brendon is surrounded by couples. Who keep asking him for threesomes. And he keeps saying yes, because hey, threesomes! But no one wants to keep him. And then someone does, because I like happy endings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Turbulence of Forms

  
**Jac & Audrey**   


 

When _I Write Sins_ blows up all over the radio, it finally feels like all of the band's hard work is paying off.

Ryan decides to celebrate with pizza and Mountain Dew. Brendon would rather have a beer or maybe a bowl, but Ryan's sort of crazy about that stuff. Ryan doesn't want it around him, and Brendon's just so happy to be here, to be included and to have friends, that he's not about to push his luck.

"We're going to be famous," Ryan says, smiling and leaning heavily against Spencer.

Spencer bites his lip and grins widely at Brendon. Brendon grins back. Brendon almost feels like he _is_ high. There's a giddy, free feeling in his chest and his lungs. Brendon wants to go dancing.

"We're rock stars," Brent says.

Coming from Brent it sounds more hesitant than excited. Brendon doesn't get it. They're rock stars! Brendon's face is going to be on magazine covers, and all those people at school who refused to give him the time of day are finally going to know his name. Brendon's parents will stop looking at him like he's ruining their lives as well as his own. Brendon thinks that maybe his life is finally starting to come together.

"I don't feel like a rock star," Brendon says. "I mean it's cool, but it's...we're still us."

Brendon doesn't want to be himself. He didn't wreck his family and break his mother's heart just to be himself. Brendon doesn't even want to think about the kid he used to be, but even now he can't seem to shake him.

"You just need to get laid," Ryan says. "No one can be a rock star if they're still running around with their virginity intact."

"Shut up," Brendon says. He knows his cheeks are pink with embarrassment.

Ryan doesn't seem to be able to stop smiling. It's a good look on him, even if the teasing is at Brendon's expense.

"We'll just have to do something about that," Ryan says. "Your voice is what got us here. I feel like that earns you a surprise."

Brendon doesn't know how to respond. He can feel his face heating up again. He shakes his head and looks down at the floor.

Ryan says, "I'm going to give you a present. It's going to blow your mind."

Brendon opens his mouth to ask Ryan what he means by that, but Ryan's cell phone rings at that moment. It's Pete, calling to congratulate them. Ryan puts him on speakerphone and in their excitement, Brendon forgets about Ryan's comment.

 

He remembers the comment later when Jac and Audrey show up in Florida with matching smiles and a bottle of cheap tequila. Brendon has enough sense not to ask any questions, but he assumes he has Ryan to thank.

Jac suggests Quarters and they get drunk playing. Audrey lets Brendon take off a piece of her clothing every time he gets a quarter into his shot glass. Jac lets Brendon play with her tits under her t-shirt, but Audrey lets Brendon go down on her.

Jac likes to talk. She says, "Suck on her clit," and Brendon does.

He slides a finger insider her, and Audrey bucks her hips up, moaning. She has one hand fisted in Brendon's hair, and she reaches for Jac with the other one. Brendon leans back to watch them kiss, their tongues sliding together in a way that's too familiar for this to be the first time.

Brendon is still fingering Audrey, lazily sliding the pad of his thumb across Audrey's clit, teasing her a little before he slides a second finger easily inside.

Jac says, "Yeah, like that. Just like that."

Brendon thinks it's weird that it's Jac talking, but Audrey is making these little purring noises, so Brendon thinks he's doing okay. Audrey's really wet, slick and warm in a way that's too real for Brendon to be imagining that he's in the middle of having sex with two girls at once. He still can't really believe this is his life.

"Can I?" Brendon asks, adding another finger before running his thumb back and forth across Audrey's clit. He hates how timid and unsure he sounds. He doesn't want Audrey and Jac thinking he's some kind of pathetic loser. "I want to fuck you," he amends.

Audrey looks at him like she wants him. She looks at Jac and says, "Get Brendon a condom."

Jac does all the prep work. She fists Brendon's cock and rolls on the condom and then watches Brendon fuck Audrey as carefully as he can.

"Harder," Audrey pants, and Brendon does. He fucks her harder, panting against Jac's mouth when she leans in to kiss him.

Jac runs her hand down Audrey's stomach and through her pubic hair until Brendon can feel her fingers brushing his cock. Jac pinches Audrey's clit, following the motion with soothing swipes of her thumb before she does it again.

Audrey clenches around Brendon tightly every time Jac pinches her, and Brendon knows he's not going to last much longer.

"Holy fuck," he says.

Jac says, "Yeah, yeah. Just...a little harder," and Audrey doesn't say no. Brendon slams his hips forward so hard he thinks he might be bruising Audrey's thighs and Audrey throws her head back and makes this sound -- _uh, uh, uh, uh_ \-- her fingernails scraping down Brendon's shoulders as she looks for something to hold on to. Brendon watches her face as she comes down, fucking her slowly, gently now that he's not sure what he's supposed to do.

"Brendon," Jac says, tapping him lightly on the shoulder. Brendon looks at her. He doesn't know if he should stop now or keep going. Jac cocks her head, shuffles backwards on her knees to make room for Brendon and says, "Stand up."

Brendon stands, his knees wobbly and his cock bobbing wetly against his stomach. Jac takes off the condom and finishes him with her mouth. It's hot and wet and maybe even better than fucking Audrey was because of the way Jac moves her tongue over the head of his dick. Brendon comes in Jac's mouth and she swallows.

"That was..." Brendon trails off.

Audrey is already putting her clothes back on. Jac never even took hers off. Brendon doesn't know what the proper etiquette is for this kind of situation. "You can stay," he says.

It doesn't really make sense, because they _are_ staying. Both Jac and Audrey are here as Ryan's guests, and Jac is Ryan's girlfriend. Of course they're staying.

"I'm going to bed," Jac says and she leaves the lounge, presumably to crawl into Ryan's bunk.

Brendon wonders if she'll tell him all the dirty details. He wonders if this was some kind of test and whether or not he passed.

"Do you want to go back to my bunk?" Brendon asks Audrey. He can't stop thinking about how he was just inside this girl. He doesn't even think he knows her last name, but he's had his tongue inside her pussy.

"I'm not your girlfriend," Audrey says.

"I know that," Brendon says. "Did you...Do you want to be?"

Audrey gives him a look like she can't quite believe he's real. "You're kind of sweet, aren't you?" she asks.

Brendon doesn't want to be sweet. He wishes he was the kind of dude who could have a threesome without turning it into some flowery declaration of love.

"Is that a yes?" he asks.

Audrey smiles, but she stretches out on the small couch and says, "I'm good here for tonight."

Brendon goes to his bunk alone. He feels different. It's like every cliche in every coming of age story he's ever seen. He feels different, but now he wonders why he ever thought different meant better.

 

The next night, Brendon comes offstage sweaty. He feels balls-to-the-wall frantic under his skin and Jac and Audrey are waiting at the side of the stage. Audrey smiles at him, inviting in a way she hasn't been all the other times Brendon's seen her with Ryan or with Jac.

"Hey," Brendon says, nodding in her direction.

Audrey gets up and walks over, standing with one hand on her hip. "How does it feel?" she asks, her eyes lingering on the stage.

"It's better than sex," Brendon says. He keeps his eyes on her, steady, waiting.

Audrey throws her head back when she laughs, bright and happy. It's in complete juxtaposition to the vibes Brendon usually gets from her.

"Is that so?" she asks.

Brendon licks his lips and waits until Audrey takes his hand and leads him out to the buses. She sucks him off against the side of the bus, using her tongue ring on the underside of his cock until he comes in her mouth. She spits afterward and leans against the bus next to him. They watch their breath in the cool evening air.

"How do you feel?" Audrey asks again.

"Like a rock star," Brendon says.

 

  
**Spencer & Haley**   


 

Brendon fucks a lot of people after Audrey. It turns out that breaking the seal on his virginity is pretty much like opening a bag of chips. He can't stop at just one. Brendon fucks a lot of people; short and tall, skinny and curvy, boys and girls. And it's not that Brendon's indiscriminate, exactly, but more that he ends up finding a lot of people attractive in a variety of ways.

Their faces tend to blur together and blend until Brendon can hardly point out someone he fucked last week, let alone tell you his or her name. It turns out not to matter much, anyway. Brendon always remembers the important ones, and he realizes that sometimes it's the people you don't take to bed who end up meaning the most.

In the cabin, Brendon spends a lot of time getting high with Jon, Spencer, Ryan and Shane. They have so much fun abusing various substances that they mostly forget they're supposed to be working.

It only gets worse when Cassie, Haley, Keltie and Regan show up for a weekend visit. They get really, really drunk. Keltie breaks out a fresh bag of weed, and Spencer gets the honor of loading the first bowl.

Hours later, Jon sprawls out on the couch, putting his head in Ryan's lap. He wiggles his fingers in front of his eyes, holding two of them up like bunny ears.

"Remember those twins you tried to pick up in Leeds?" Jon asks.

Brendon's trying to remember if he ever tried to fuck twins. He doesn't think so, but he's done his fair share of drugs and drinking. There are definitely pieces missing from some of his memories.

Ryan glares down at Jon and says, "My girlfriend is sitting right here."

Jon blinks and turns his head, giving Keltie his most charming smile. "It was before your time," he says.

No one mentions that it wasn't before Jac's time. Brendon isn't sure what the proper etiquette for discussing someone's past infidelities is, especially in front of his current significant other. Thankfully the rest of the band seems to be thinking along the same lines. They all remain blissfully quiet.

Haley pushes her hair out of her eyes and says, "I've never had a threesome. What was it like?"

Jon laughs. Haley's cheeks turn pink and she lets her hair fall back over her face.

"I said he hit on them," Jon says. "I didn't say he got anywhere."

The whole room laughs at Ryan's expense. Ryan seems to be okay with it tonight. He casually flips them all off, leaning farther back into the couch cushions.

"Why don't you ask Brendon?" Ryan says. He looks downright evil when he turns to Brendon, grinning.

"Really?" Haley asks.

Brendon shrugs, giving her a sheepish smile. "It's how I lost my virginity."

"No shit!" she says. She gives him another look, this one more calculating than the last, and elbows Spencer hard in the ribs.

Spencer rubs at the spot until Haley relents and rests her head against his shoulder. He pets her hair after that, his eyes lingering on Brendon for a moment longer than Brendon feels comfortable with.

Much, much later the three of them go to Spencer's room. Brendon puts his hands in his pockets and watches Spencer and Haley kiss. They're both so pretty; they both have gentle lips and gentle hands. Brendon wonders what it's like, if it tastes different to kiss like that.

"Do you want to?" Haley says nervously. She steps away from Spencer, but his hand lingers on her arm, his fingers digging possessively into her skin.

Brendon steps forward, but he keeps his eyes on Spencer. He puts his palm against Haley's hip and pulls her closer, but he leans into Spencer. It's Spencer he boosts himself up to kiss.

Spencer makes a surprised noise, his mouth opening enough that Brendon can slide his tongue against his teeth. Spencer tenses against Brendon's lips and Brendon can feel him getting ready to pull away, so he's not surprised when Spencer takes a stumbling step backwards.

"Spencer?" Haley asks.

Spencer touches his own lips with his fingertips. He looks at Brendon's hand, still on Haley's hip. Brendon pulls her closer, tips her head back with his other hand and rubs his thumb over the apple of her cheek.

"Don't," Spencer whispers.

Brendon sees desire on Haley's face. He knows she wants this – maybe not with Brendon, necessarily, but the act, the situation itself.

Spencer looks...sick. He looks sick and scared.

Brendon doesn't think it's just nerves on Spencer's part. It's kind of obvious that Spencer doesn't want to do this.

Brendon says, "I want to see you kiss Spencer. Can you do that for me?"

Haley smiles and walks to Spencer. Spencer's fingers curl into her hips, pulling her close. He kisses her hard, breaking away to press his face against her neck, shaking unsteadily. He looks over her shoulder at Brendon.

Brendon suddenly wants to be anywhere else. He feels like he's intruding on a private moment. Maybe leaving won't help. Maybe Haley will just keep pushing until she gets what she wants, but it doesn't mean Brendon has to be a part of it. Brendon doesn't want to be the reason Spencer looks so scared.

Haley keeps kissing down Spencer's neck, biting gently at Spencer's pulse point. Spencer keeps staring at Brendon with a desperate look in his eyes. Brendon backs up, reaching behind him for the door knob.

Spencer closes his eyes and lets out a loud breath, and Brendon nods once before he opens the door and steps out into the hallway. He closes the door just as quietly as he opened it and walks to his room alone.

 

  
**Ryan & Keltie**   


 

Brendon goes dancing with Keltie and Ryan. He watches Keltie spin around and around and around on the dance floor. She's lithe and graceful, and her legs practically go up to her ears.

"Don't you want to dance with her?" Brendon asks.

Ryan tips back another drink. The glass clacks against the bar when he sets it down.

"I like to watch," Ryan says.

There's a tone in Ryan's voice that Brendon doesn't really know how to classify. Ryan's looking at Brendon almost like he's studying him.

Brendon says, "Dude, what?"

"Let's go to the bathroom," Ryan says.

They do lines off the back of the toilet. Brendon hadn't planned on getting this fucked up tonight, but Ryan can be persuasive. Brendon leans back against the stall door, sniffs and shakes out his limbs. He feels good, high enough that he doesn't ever want to come down.

"Let's dance," he says.

Ryan kisses him instead.

When they're back at Ryan's condo, Keltie stands in the middle of Ryan's bedroom in just her bra and underwear and high heels. She looks like she's stepped right out of male-fantasy porn and Brendon can't stop looking at her. She bites her bottom lip and looks at Ryan.

"How do you want us?" she asks. She's still looking at Ryan. It almost makes Brendon feel like he's not in the room with them.

"Naked," Ryan says sarcastically. "On the bed."

Keltie unfastens her bra. She lets it dangle off one finger for a long moment before dropping it on the floor. She hooks her thumbs under the tiny straps of her thong. She's still looking at Ryan. Her eyes never leave his face.

"You should take your clothes off," she says, and she isn't looking at Brendon, but he knows she's finally talking to him.

Brendon laughs. He still feels crazy under his skin. His mouth waters and his palms itch. "I didn't think you two –" Brendon stops talking and starts taking off his clothes. He honestly didn't know about this part of their relationship, but he doesn't know why it surprises him. They aren't required to tell each other everything.

Keltie asks, "What do you want, baby?" She's talking to Ryan again, standing naked and beautiful in the middle of the room.

"I want to watch him fuck you," Ryan says.

Keltie says, "Yeah. Good," and walks toward the bed, gesturing for Brendon to follow with a tilt of her head.

Ryan says, "Keltie?"

She sits and looks at him again, one eyebrow arched in question.

"Leave the heels on," he says.

Brendon can't help comparing this situation to porn – two average-looking dudes and a hot girl in high heels. Brendon's not above understanding the appeal.

He and Keltie are both pretty limber. Keltie's a dancer and Brendon's always been a little bit like Gumby in the way that he can twist and move. Ryan watches them from a chair that sits kitty-corner to the bed. Keltie's knees are up over Brendon's shoulder, her heels digging little points into his back. Brendon has his arms on either side of her head, and she bites into his forearm both times she comes. Brendon can see and feel the indentations of her teeth in his skin.

He fucks her slowly, rolling his hips in a lazy rhythm, and she seems to like the torture, the way it brings her to the edge over and over again before he slams into her and grinds their pelvic bones together.

Keltie comes again, scraping her nails hard over Brendon shoulders. Brendon has to stop moving to keep himself from coming, too. Everything gets too hot and too wet, so he just stops, panting against Keltie's neck.

"Did you want to...?" Brendon looks over his shoulder at Ryan. Ryan looks blissed, eyes glassy, mouth open. He has his cock in his hand and he's jacking himself slowly. "Keep going," he says. His voice sounds a little strangled. Brendon can tell that the words are directed at him, but Ryan never looks away from Keltie. His eyes stay glued to her face, watching her the same way she's been watching him all night.

Keltie bucks her hips up, twining her fingers through Brendon's hair and pulling his head down so they can kiss. Brendon wishes they were filming this or that someone had a camera, or that he could at least step outside of himself for a moment and see what Ryan is seeing. He thinks they must look a little like a human pretzel in the way they're twisted around each other, with Keltie's blonde hair and tanned skin a pretty contrast against Brendon's features.

Brendon's thrusts get sloppier the closer he gets. He's not going to be able to hold out much longer, but he wants to see if he can make Keltie come again. He slides one of her legs off his shoulder, pushing himself up on his knees as he holds her leg up and out with one hand, changing the angle of his thrusts.

He works his other hand between their bodies, stroking over her clit in a soft, lazy motion. Keltie starts to squirm, her head thrashing around on the bed as she tries to move her hips up in to Brendon's touch.

"More?" he asks.

Keltie whimpers in response, turning her head to look at Ryan with wide, pleading eyes.

"Please," she says, "please," and the way she begs _Ryan_ makes Brendon feel like he's not even there. He rotates his hips and presses down on her clit, working his thumb in a circular pattern until Keltie cries out, twisting her hands in the sheets. Brendon can't keep going after that. He throws his head back and comes, digging his fingers into Keltie's thigh where he's holding her open, his hips stuttering until he's completely spent.

He pulls out and flops down next to her, removing the condom and giving it a distasteful look before he drops it off the side of the bed. Keltie makes a contented noise, curling up next to him for a moment and then stretching like a cat waking up from a nap. She sits up, shaking her hair out before she gets off the bed and makes her way over to Ryan, dropping to her knees in front of him.

She doesn't do anything more than look up at Ryan, her hands resting gently on his thighs as she watches him jerk off. He's still mostly clothed, his pants pushed down around his thighs and his shirt buttons undone, revealing his stomach and his chest.

Brendon watches them curiously. He feels a little bit like a peeping Tom now that his part in Ryan's fantasy is apparently over. It's almost like they've both forgotten he exists. It makes Brendon feel weird and out of place in a way that fucking Keltie didn't.

Brendon can't deny that it's hot, though, watching as Keltie just kneels there, waiting for Ryan to finish. It's turning Brendon on, revealing a kink he didn't even know he had until this moment. Suddenly, Brendon wants to get the hell out of the room. This isn't something he should be watching.

He slides out of bed and grabs for his pants, scanning the room for his shirt until his eyes fall back on Ryan and Keltie. Ryan's looking at Brendon, his hand working faster and faster over his cock. Brendon can see the head pushing up through Ryan's fist on the down stroke. Ryan looks like he's going to come any second, and he's breathing hard through his mouth.

As Brendon watches, Ryan's eyes drop to Brendon's half-hard cock. Brendon moves his pants in front of his crotch and takes a step toward the door with every intention of letting Ryan and Keltie finish up together. Brendon shouldn't be here anymore. Maybe he never should have been here.

Ryan says, "Wait. Stop."

Brendon freezes, his shoulders tensing against the desperate sound of Ryan's voice.

"Let me see," Ryan says.

It takes Brendon a moment to figure out what Ryan is asking for, and when he does he swallows hard, biting his lip viciously as he lets his pants fall away from where he's holding them up to cover himself. He puts his other hand loosely around his cock. Brendon isn't fully hard yet, so he keeps it light, squeezing gently and brushing his thumb lightly across the head.

Ryan's eyes lose some of their focus and he says, "I told you I like to watch." He picks up a faster rhythm on his own cock, working over it so hard Brendon wonders if he's going to rub himself raw before he comes.

Keltie wiggles between his spread thighs, tipping her head back invitingly, her tongue peeking out to run across her bottom lip, and it's really, really hot. Brendon's fully hard now, and he starts jacking himself in earnest, working his hand fast and hard over his dick.

It's a sprint the second time. Ryan and Brendon are racing to see which one of them is going to get to the finish line first. Ryan keeps looking back and forth between Brendon and Keltie until he cries out, throwing his head back as he comes across his chest and Keltie's face and throat.

Keltie licks across her lips again, before she leans in and starts using her tongue to clean off Ryan's chest. Brendon can't hold back after that. His orgasm hits him hard and fast, even if it's somewhat less satisfying than the first one, and then Brendon just feels sleepy down to his muscles and his bones, like he could lie down and not get up again for days and days.

The only problem is that this isn't Brendon's room, and Ryan isn't Brendon's boyfriend. Keltie isn't his girlfriend. Brendon never knows what he should do in the aftermath of these situations, when he's standing somewhere he really doesn't belong, feeling awkward and out of place.

Brendon shakes his pants out and says, "I'm just going to go."

Keltie lifts her head and smiles, making little spirit fingers at him with one hand. Brendon assumes it's supposed to be a wave of some sort, so he waves back before lifting one leg to slide unsteadily into his pants. He grabs up his shirt from where it's lying in a wrinkled pile on the floor and turns toward the door.

"You can stay," Ryan says. His voice sounds even deeper than it usually does, sleepy and slow but no less monotone.

Brendon could stay. He could pull Keltie up and drag her back to bed with him. Ryan could join them and curl around them both, and they could all fall asleep together in a sweaty pile. Brendon likes the way it plays out in his mind when he thinks about it, but he knows the story doesn't end when they all fall asleep. He doesn't like to think about the sun coming up. He hates thinking about the morning after.

In the dark, it's always easier for Brendon to pretend that he belongs.

"Yes," Keltie says. "Stay."

Brendon grabs for the door handle, pulling it open and letting the light from the hallway spill into the room. "I'll see you both tomorrow," he says.

Brendon can't make out their faces anymore. They're both cast into shadow now. Brendon's thankful for it. He doesn't think he wants to see the looks on their faces.

"Goodnight," Keltie says softly.

"Goodnight," Brendon says. He lets the door close quietly between them.

 

  
**Jon & Cassie**   


 

Brendon waits until the last minute to make a decision about the VMAs.

"I'm bringing Shane," Brendon says.

Cassie shakes her head, smiling at him indulgently. "You're bringing Shane as your date?" she asks.

"Yep," Brendon says. He doesn't give much thought to what people think about him, his friends or his sexual partners. Brendon realized a long time ago that if he worried about every rumor – whether it was true or not – he would drive himself up the wall. "And afterwards, we're going to have all the sex in the world. You and Jon should probably get earplugs since your hotel room is next to mine."

"What about Regan?" Cassie asks. She still looks amused, but her eyes are questioning, like maybe she's starting to reconsider whether or not Brendon is being serious.

"She can come too," Brendon says, shrugging his shoulders.

Cassie bites her bottom lip and says, "Oh, really," drawing out the vowels in both words. Her eyes flick toward Jon, and he smiles at her, waggling his eyebrows suggestively, before he walks over and kisses her on the cheek.

Brendon laughs and gives her a wink on his way out of the room.

 

Brendon lays his clothes out on his bed. He's just wearing jeans and a button-up shirt with his tan corduroy jacket. He's not doing anything fancy tonight because the VMAs don't really feel like a big deal this year. Pretty.Odd. never had a video big enough to be nominated for anything, and Brendon's sort of glad that they can sit back and relax. There's no performance, no acceptance speech, and Brendon doesn't have to worry about keeping a girl happy, either.

Brendon could have found a girl. He could have made a phone call and asked someone to come along, but it had felt like too much of an effort for just a few hours of his life. Shane's always glad to tag along for the free booze, anyway, and he doesn't mind keeping Brendon company when the rest of his band have their girlfriends around.

Brendon knows people talk about him and Shane. He thinks his own band might actually talk about them, but Brendon tries not to let it bother him.

Brendon walks the red carpet with Jon, Spencer and Ryan while Keltie, Haley and Cassie head inside, dragging Shane along like he's just one of the girls. Once they're all inside, Brendon takes the seat next to Shane and smiles at Cassie. She's sitting to his right.

"You know everyone is going to assume you're my date, right?" Brendon whispers, elbowing Shane.

"You probably should have mentioned that _before_ we got here," Shane answers, but Brendon can tell he's amused by the tone of his voice.

"Whatever," Brendon says. "You'd probably suck my dick for free liquor, so it's almost like it's true." The lights flicker, indicating that the show's about to start.

"I'd have to find it first," Shane retorts.

"I just tuck really well," Brendon says a little too loudly. A few people turn to glare at them. Cassie sticks her elbow in Brendon's ribs to quiet him.

Brendon pouts for the rest of the show.

He gets pretty drunk at the after-party. Ryan and Keltie spend the entire night at a table in the corner while Cassie and Jon get out on the dance floor. Spencer and Haley head back to their hotel room after a few drinks.

Regan meets up with them later, and Shane abandons Brendon to dance with her. Brendon doesn't really mind. He's been watching a pretty girl with dark hair and blue eyes all night, and being left alone finally gives Brendon the push he needs to go talk to her.

"Hey," he says, sliding on to the stool to her left.

She smiles and takes a sip of her drink through her straw.

"Hi," she says.

Brendon holds out his hand and introduces himself.

She takes his hand and says, "I'm Sarah."

"I would offer to buy you a drink," Brendon says.

"But I already have one," Sarah says, taking another sip.

Brendon says, "Right," and bites his lip. Sarah has really big eyes, like an anime character come to life. They're really blue against the backdrop of her black hair, maybe even bluer than Spencer's, which is saying something. "I know you're going to think I sound totally lame, but –"

Sarah cuts him off. "You're in a band, right?"

"Yeah, yeah," Brendon says. "Panic at the Disco."

Sarah nods, her eyes lighting up like she's finally figured something out. "Right," she says. "I knew I knew you from someplace."

Brendon's feeling pretty buzzed. He lost count of how many drinks he'd had a while back. He thinks he might actually be close to the slurring-and-stumbling stage of drunkenness, but Sarah is seriously pretty and Brendon figures it can't hurt to try.

"This is going to...Do you want to go back to my hotel with me?" he asks.

Sarah doesn't look surprised or offended, which Brendon figures is a good sign.

"I don't think my boyfriend would like that," she says.

"Oh," Brendon says. "Well, he could come too?"

He smiles at her, trying to be charming and sly so he can blow it off as a joke if she gets upset. Sarah doesn't look upset. She looks calculating, like maybe if she stares at Brendon long enough she's going to figure him out completely.

"That's not really my thing," she says. "I'm not very good at sharing."

"Fair enough," Brendon says. "I had to try."

Sarah nods and says, "Well, sure. Isn't that a saying? It never hurts to try?"

"They also say, 'If at first you don't succeed try, try again,'" Brendon says. He's still trying to charm her, even though he already knows it's not going to get him anywhere. Sarah looks over her shoulder and waves at some guy standing near the door. He looks familiar, but Brendon can't place him off the top of his head.

"Maybe you'll get another chance sometime," Sarah says. "But I have to go now."

"The boyfriend?" Brendon asks.

"Jeremy," Sarah says. "Yeah."

Almost immediately after Sarah gets up and starts making her way through the crowd, Cassie comes over and sits down in her place.

"Hi," she says.

Brendon nods as he scans the party, looking for Jon. "Where's Jon?" he asks.

Cassie points over to the table where Ryan and Keltie are holed up. He's sitting on the edge of Ryan's chair with one arm slung over Ryan's shoulders.

"Did you get shot down?" Cassie asks.

Brendon shrugs and glances back, looking Cassie in the eye. "Second time tonight if I count telling Shane to suck my dick," he says.

"Gee," Cassie says, "you're so charming. I don't know how the ladies can keep themselves away from you."

"Maybe I'll try again. Third time's the charm and all that."

Cassie bites along the edge of one of her fingernails.

"You haven't asked me,"she says, looking down at the bar.

It takes a few seconds for Brendon's mind to unscramble her words and suss out what she's actually said. It's possible that Brendon is really, very drunk.

"What about Jon?" he asks jokingly.

Cassie doesn't look like she's joking, though. She looks really nervous, actually. Her bottom lip is red where she's bitten it repeatedly. She says, "He can come too."

Brendon's eyes dart over to where Jon is still draped against Ryan's side. Jon is looking in Brendon and Cassie's direction now, his face relaxed. Brendon blinks and looks back at Cassie. She's still looking at him cautiously, like she's not sure what kind of reaction she's going to get.

Brendon licks his lips and says, "Can I buy you a drink?"

Cassie lets out a relieved breath, smiling. "I thought you'd never ask."

 

  
**Shane & Regan**   


 

The couches in the new house in LA are super comfortable. Brendon stretches out on one and watches Regan stretch out on the other with her head resting in Shane's lap.

There's nothing on TV, even though they get hundreds of channels. Brendon's bored out of his mind after fifteen minutes of channel surfing.

"I'm bored," he says.

Shane ignores him, running his fingers gently through Regan's hair. She's got her eyes closed, her face tipped back so that when Shane leans down to kiss her he has easy access to her mouth.

Brendon watches them and listens to Regan purr. The kiss is hot. Regan's tongue pokes out, meeting Shane half way, and Brendon can see their tongues slide together for a second before their lips meet and block Brendon's view.

Suddenly, Brendon's not bored anymore.

"Um, guys?" he says.

Brendon's dick is starting to get interested, which is okay if that was actually Shane and Regan's intention. They're both hot, and it's not any kind of secret that Brendon's up for this kind of thing.

Shane lifts his head, but he won't look at Brendon. Regan is the one who looks Brendon in the eye and smiles. She bites her bottom lip nervously and sits up, folding her legs underneath her.

"Shane and I were talking and...well, we were wondering if you might want to..." Regan blows out a frustrated breath.

"You want me to have sex with you," Brendon says.

Both Regan and Shane turn bright red. Brendon really hopes he doesn't have this wrong or he's going to be very embarrassed.

Regan finally nods a little, a definite confirmation. Brendon relaxes. He can do this. He could do this with his eyes closed now, even if a small part of him wishes that wasn't true. Brendon stands up, stretches his arms above his head and smiles reassuringly at them. Shane finally looks him in the eye and smiles back.

"Dude, it's just sex," Brendon says and he doesn't know if he's saying it for their benefit or for his own.

Regan says, "We should find a bed."

Brendon can't find any fault in that statement. He's had sex in a lot of places, and while some of them were maybe more exciting than a bed, a bed is definitely still the best place for more than two people to fuck.

Brendon's room is the first door down the hallway. Regan is in the lead and Brendon's a little bit surprised when she walks into Brendon's room instead of continuing on to the one she shares with Shane. Brendon doesn't mind doing it here, but he's gotten used to couples taking him back to their place that Brendon doesn't really have any experience doing things like this in his own space.

"How do you want to do this?" Brendon asks.

Shane looks at Regan. Regan won't look at either of them. The tension in the room is so thick that Brendon is having trouble breathing.

Brendon sighs and says, "We don't have to do this at all. We can go back in the living room, smoke a bowl and watch some Comedy Central."

Regan bites her bottom lip and looks up, shaking her hair out so that it cascades down her shoulders. She takes a deep breath and walks to Brendon, tilting her head as she moves in to kiss him.

Her lips taste like Carmex, slick and a little bit sticky. Brendon cups her face and kisses her back, dragging his tongue over her bottom lip as they break apart.

Shane is still standing by the door, watching them. Brendon tilts his head, gesturing for Shane to come closer, and Shane hesitates for a moment before he walks over. Brendon wraps on of his hands around the back of Shane's neck and pulls him down, kissing him harder than he kissed Regan. When Shane makes a surprised noise against his mouth, Brendon steps away and lets Regan take his place.

Brendon watches the two of them kiss for a little while before he pulls his T-shirt over his head. He undoes his pants and pulls them down over his hips, losing his balance a little as he kicks them off his feet.

Shane stops kissing Regan and turns his attention on Brendon, watching but not moving. Brendon steps forward and grabs for the hem of Shane's shirt, stripping it off and tossing it over his shoulder. He steps in and kisses Shane, pressing their naked chests together and putting his hands on Shane's shoulders. He runs his palms down over Shane's arms. Shane's skin feels good, warm and firm and smooth.

"Should I?" Regan asks. Her hands linger uncertainly on the top button of her shirt.

Brendon steps away from Shane and reaches for Regan's shirt, batting her hands away so he can undo the buttons himself. His fingers are steady. He can't stop looking at Regan's breasts rising and falling under the thin material of her shirt. She's breathing hard, biting her bottom lip over and over so that it's full and red.

"You are seriously pretty," Brendon tells her.

Regan smiles and reaches for her jeans, opening the button fly and shimmying out of them far more gracefully than Brendon had managed. She's wearing a white bra and blue cotton panties, the sort of color Brendon would buy for himself. That line of thought makes him laugh nervously until Regan closes the distance between them and kisses him again.

She walks Brendon backward toward the bed and pushes him down, smacking his hip when she goes to pull his underwear down. Brendon lifts his hips for her, letting her slide his underwear off.

Shane is still standing at the foot of the bed, watching them, his arousal apparent by his unsteady breathing.

"You're still wearing too many clothes," Brendon tells him.

Shane blinks dumbly, licking his lips as Regan kneels on the floor next to the bed. Brendon sits up and scoots closer to the edge of the mattress, putting his fingers in Regan's hair. She leans forward and licks delicately across the head of his cock. Brendon's fingers tighten in her hair involuntarily, and he lets out a shaky breath.

"Yeah," he says encouragingly.

Shane finally reaches for the button on his own pants. He pushes his pants and underwear off at the same time, stepping out of them quickly. Regan is the only one still wearing clothes. Shane kneels down next to her, watching her mouth as she sucks and licks at Brendon's cock.

Brendon can't stop his hips from lifting off the bed. Regan puts both of her hands on Brendon's hips, pushing them down into the mattress to keep him from bucking up into her mouth.

Shane leans forward and kisses the top of Regan's shoulder. He brushes her hair back, lifting it as he kisses his way to the nape of her neck and down her spine to the clasp of her bra.

Shane has to shuffle a little on his knees until he's fully behind Regan, pressing his dick against her ass.

"I want to...while you suck him off," Shane says.

Regan and Brendon both moan. Shane unfastens Regan's bra and taps his fingers against her hip impatiently. She pulls her mouth off of Brendon's cock and gets unsteadily to her feet. Brendon and Shane both reach for her panties, their fingers brushing as they move together to slide them down her legs.

Regan kicks them off and drops back to her knees, taking Brendon into her mouth again. Shane scoots up behind her. She widens her knees, spreading her legs open to make more room for Shane.

Brendon has a pretty good view of what's happening between their bodies. He can't exactly see Shane fucking into Regan, but he can watch Shane's cock disappear and reappear from between her spread legs. Regan moans around Brendon's cock every time Shane thrusts forward, and it's so fucking hot that Brendon knows he's not going to last much longer.

"Regan," Brendon says, trying to warn her. "I'm gonna –"

Regan pulls off long enough to say, "I wanna taste you," before she wraps her lips around Brendon's cock again, sucking gently on the head. Brendon twists his fingers in Regan's hair and comes with a loud grunt. Regan sucks him through it until he can't stand the stimulation anymore. Brendon gently pulls her off, just as Shane pulls her back more forcefully onto his cock.

Regan takes her hands off Brendon's legs and scoots further back so that she's straddling Shane's thighs, her back pressed up against Shane's front. Shane anchors her to him, one hand pressed flat against her stomach and the other cupping on of her breasts. He brushes his thumb across one of her nipples, and Regan throws her head back against Shane's shoulder, twisting so that Shane can kiss her. Shane makes this little whimpering noise, and Brendon doesn't blame him at all. Regan looks really into it, rolling her hips in time with Shane's thrusts.

When Regan comes, she digs her fingers into the carpet and tips her head back for another kiss. Brendon wonders if Regan tastes like him. He wonders if Shane can taste Brendon's come on her lips.

Regan relaxes against Shane, spent and boneless. She's not doing much to help anymore, but it doesn't look like it matters much anyway. Shane's thrusts are shallow and sloppy, and Brendon can tell he's not going to last much longer.

When he finally comes, he bites down hard on Regan's shoulder. The two of them moan together, and Shane rests his cheek against the back of Regan's neck as he tries to catch his breath. After half a minute of heavy breathing they both look at Brendon questioningly. It's almost like they're asking him if they did it right, like Brendon is some kind of threesome expert.

Brendon says, "You should come to bed."

Shane smiles and nuzzles against Regan's neck for a few seconds before they both get to their feet. They tumble into Brendon's bed, the three of them scooting around until they're under the covers.

Brendon likes the way his bed feels when there's more than one body in it. He likes the warmth of having someone else there. He presses his feet against Regan's legs, twisting their limbs together until he can feel Shane's calf pressed against his toes. He falls asleep almost as soon as he closes his eyes.

Brendon wakes up alone. It's disappointing, but not devastating. He lives with Regan and Shane, so it's not like they're really blowing him off. The ball of nerves in Brendon's stomach is completely unwarranted. He convinces himself that he just needs something to eat to even out the queasy feeling.

Regan and Shane are already in the kitchen when Brendon goes downstairs. Regan is sitting on the counter with Shane standing between her spread legs. They're making out pretty heavily. Brendon can see Regan's fingernails digging into the skin on Shane's shoulders.

They look right, like two halves of a whole, and Brendon suddenly doesn't want to intrude on them. He backs slowly out of the kitchen, opting for a shower instead.

The water in the shower is hot. Despite that, Brendon can't stop shaking. He feels cold down to his bones, and it doesn't get any better, no matter how hot he makes the water.

He feels tired afterward. He stands in the middle of his room, wet and shivering. Brendon knows he should get dressed and find something to do with the rest of his day, but the thought of going out and trying to act like everything is normal with Shane and Regan only makes him feel even more tired. Brendon knows everything will be fine between the three of them, but there's always a sort of awkwardness at first that Brendon doesn't want to deal with right now.

He ends up crawling back into bed and burrowing under the covers alone. He closes his eyes and breathes deeply, waiting for sleep to come.

 

  
**Sarah**   


 

Ryan calls Brendon late on a Saturday night. It's so late that it could possibly be Sunday morning already. Brendon's not terribly inclined to find out.

"You should come out," Ryan says.

Brendon can hear the slur in Ryan's words. He's clearly three sheets to the wind already and most likely drunk-dialing in alphabetical order. If Brendon hung up, Ryan would probably keep dialing until he got to S in his phone book, at which point Spencer would call Ryan a cab.

"I'm not dressed," Brendon says.

Ryan laughs and there's a loud clatter, like Ryan dropped his phone.

"Come on," Ryan whines a few seconds later. "I'm out with Kate. She wants you to come."

There's more noise and then Kate's voice is buzzing in Brendon's ear.

"We're drunk," she says helpfully. "Well, Ryan's drunk and I'm rolling, but we're both pretty fucked up, is what I'm saying."

Brendon rolls his eyes and asks, "Do you need a ride?"

Kate laughs again and says, "He wants to know if we need a ride."

Ryan comes back on the line. "Why yes, Brendon," he says. "I think we do need a _ride_."

Brendon isn't stupid. He's known Ryan a long time, long enough to be able to read between the lines, even when Ryan _isn't_ being totally obvious.

Brendon takes a few seconds to think about it and then says, "Where are you?"

Ryan gives him the name of the club and hangs up.

 

The club is still packed when Brendon gets there. It's the kind of packed that would probably get the place shut down by the fire marshal if a fire marshal ever happened to wander in at one in the morning. Brendon tries calling Ryan three times and doesn't get an answer, but the music is so loud that he isn't particularly surprised. Ryan probably can't even hear his phone going off.

Brendon wanders around the club, sticking close to the bar in the hopes that Ryan or Kate or someone else he recognizes will see him. On Brendon's fourth pass, someone reaches out and latches onto his arm.

"Hey you," she says. Brendon's eyes flick from the girls hand up to her face.

It's the girl from the VMAs. Her hair is a little shorter than he remembers it being, but she's still just as pretty. Brendon thinks she might even be prettier.

He smiles and says, "Hey!"

"Brendon, right?"

Brendon nods and wracks his brain, trying to remember her name. He knows he won't. Brendon can barely remember the names of girls he actually takes home, let alone ones that shoot him down.

"I'm sorry," he says. "I remember you from the VMAs, but I don't –"

"Sarah," she says, smiling easily.

The guy sitting next to Sarah finally gets annoyed with Brendon hovering behind him. He slides off his stool and gives the both of them a dirty look before he walks toward the dance floor. The crowd quickly swallows him up. Brendon shrugs and slides onto the vacant stool.

"You going to let me buy you a drink this time?" he asks.

"Sure," Sarah says. "I'll take a vodka-cherry sour."

Brendon orders her drink and a beer for himself.

"Do you live in LA?" he asks.

"No," Sarah says, shaking her head. "Right now I live in Nashville, but I'm moving to Detroit."

"Why Detroit?" Brendon asks.

Sarah smiles and says, "Most people ask, 'Why Nashville?'"

"Okay, why Nashville?"

"My boyfriend was in Nashville," Sarah says. She sips her drink, chewing the end of her straw in a way that seems unconscious.

"And he's not now?" Brendon asks.

"No, he's still there. He's just not my boyfriend anymore."

Brendon says, "I'm sorry," mostly because he thinks it's what you're expected to say when people tell you about their breakups.

Sarah shrugs and asks, "Do you want to dance?"

Brendon lets her lead the way out into the crowd. They dance up close, Brendon's hands on Sarah's hips. Sarah likes to throw her hands up into the air and bend backwards, and Brendon laughs and puts his hands on the small of her back, anchoring her to him. They're both a little buzzed, clinging and laughing. Brendon hasn't had this much fun in a long time.

When they go back to the bar for more drinks, Brendon tells Sarah about moving to LA, about how much he likes being in a new place.

"You didn't like Vegas?" Sarah asks.

"I loved it," Brendon says. "But it's...sometimes I feel like no matter how much you change as you grow up, you're always the same at home. It's like no one there lets you grow up."

Sarah nods. "Detroit is home," she says. "I got out and now all I can think about is going back. What does that say about me?"

Brendon downs the rest of his beer. "Maybe you liked the person you were then more than you like the person you are now."

Sarah doesn't say anything, which Brendon guesses is an answer in itself.

Someone comes up behind Brendon and wraps an arm across his chest, pulling him backwards. Brendon feels the warmth of the person's body pressed against his back. He tilts his head back and smiles up at Ryan.

Ryan smiles back, his eyes unfocused in that way that tells Brendon he's really, really drunk.

"Hi," Ryan says, pressing his smile against the side of Brendon's neck. "You're all sweaty."

Brendon laughs and says, "I've been dancing."

Ryan opens his mouth and presses his tongue against Brendon's neck. Brendon watches Sarah, but she doesn't look scandalized. She mostly looks amused. She's smiling at Ryan like he's charming her instead of making a pass at Brendon.

"You didn't dance with us," Ryan says. "Kate wants you to come home with us. I'll play the drums and we can dance."

Brendon laughs, pulling Ryan around to stand next to him.

"Ryan, this is Sarah," Brendon says, gesturing between the two of them. "Sarah this is Ryan – guitar player, poet, and leader of my pack."

Ryan starts humming the song as he leans in and pecks Sarah on the cheek.

"Do you want to come dance with us?" Ryan asks.

"I'm good here," Sarah says, shaking her head.

Brendon thinks she looks like she might burst out laughing any moment. She keeps smiling and biting her bottom lip.

"How about I call you and Kate a cab?" Brendon asks Ryan. "That way you can get home in one piece and dance together."

Ryan looks at Brendon suspiciously, as if he thinks Brendon might be trying to trick him in some way.

"What will you be doing?" he asks.

"I'm gonna hang here and talk to Sarah," Brendon says.

He looks at Sarah and raises an eyebrow. For all he knows, Sarah thinks he's a total freak who likes to have crazy orgies with his band members. The first time Brendon met her, he asked her to come home with him and invited her boyfriend along. Now Ryan's asking her to come _dancing_ with Ryan and Brendon and Ryan's girlfriend. Sarah probably thinks Brendon is some kind of sexual deviant.

Sarah raises one of her own eyebrows and says, "If you have plans I don't want to –"

"I don't have plans," Brendon says. "Just give me a minute."

He drags Ryan away, rounds Kate up and takes them both outside to call a cab. It takes a lot longer than he had anticipated – waiting for the taxi, piling Ryan and Kate inside and giving their information to the driver – and by the time he gets back inside, Brendon figures that Sarah will be long gone.

He's pleasantly surprised to find her sitting right where he left her, sipping from a bottle of water.

"I thought you left," Sarah says.

"I told you I'd be back," Brendon says. He sits next to her again. They stare at each other for a long time.

"Why did you come back?" Sarah asks. "I mean, I figured...You know."

Sarah waves her hand toward the front of the club.

Brendon says, "Maybe it's not my thing."

Sarah smiles like she remembers. Brendon knows she remembers because she asks, "Not very good at sharing?"

"You know," Brendon says. "I don't think I am."

"I'm probably not going home with you tonight," Sarah says. "Just putting that out there."

Brendon smiles and says, "Probably not?"

"Not tonight," Sarah says again. "Probably."

"Did you know that probably means most likely?" Brendon says. "I feel like you're leaving me a little bit of an opening here."

Sarah smiles and leans in, pressing her lips to Brendon's cheek. It's probably the sweetest kiss Brendon's ever gotten from someone he actually wants to see naked.

"Is that what I'm doing?" Sarah asks.

"Probably," Brendon says, laughing a little.

Sarah tips her head to the side. She won't stop smiling at Brendon.

"Most likely," she says.


End file.
